Matthew’s Blog

This came in my email this morning.  I don’t know the author, however if I find out I will credit them.  This is just great and soo true.

Sincerely,

Flowing Crackerjack Armstrong

(a.k.a Matthew - as I can’t pull off Pegleg Lemon Johnson - even if I had a pegleg, see below)

=============================SINGING THEBLUES=======
If you are new to Blues music, or like it but never really understood the whys and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:

1. Most Blues begin with: “Woke up this morning….”

2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, “I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.”

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes - sort of: “Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound.”

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch…ain’t no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don’t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state- sponsored motor pools ain’t even in the running. Walkin’ plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.

6. Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, “adulthood” means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don’t get no rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is.. Breaking your leg ’cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg ’cause a alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can’t have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

11. Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom’s
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

12. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, ‘less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.

13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you’re older than dirt
b. you’re blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can’t be satisfied
No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

14. Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.

15. If you ask for water and your darlin’ gives you gasoline, it’s the Blues.

Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast

16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can’t have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

17. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

18. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

19. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can’t sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

20. Blues Name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Mute, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, Clinton, etc.)
For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Pegleg Lemon Johnson or Lame Kiwi Clinton, etc. (Well, maybe not “Kiwi.”)

21. I don’t care how tragic your life is: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry!

x15UH1 8wu 10wd (2:30 rest)HR 138 1250kcal@45% Higher Ranking on 10km as well! knocked 5 min off last score.
Happy Birthday to ME!!!

I am sure that over the course of my rowing in college and post college I have rowed well over a million meters, perhaps even two.  However since I started tracking and recording my rowing online on my own machine I have passed the 500,000m  mark today.  YAY.   In addition I have only 9,241m to go to reach my 200,000m Holiday Challenge

Day 22 of the Holiday Rowing Challenge with a need to burn off some energy after a very strange day breaks the 150,000 mark.  Now standing at 152,428 with 8 days remaining. 

Word of note: 
I had a massage with an excellent massage therapist today who really gets at the source of tension - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.    I have been at a bit of low energy today which I attributed to the rapid approach of the Solstice 6 more days of dark before it lights up again.   I have noticed that the past three years the 10 days on either side of the Solstice are particularly rough for me.   The light boxes are helping.  The massage helps.  The exercise really does help.  Shovelling snow outside helps.  AND my energy was way down.    Well, she noticed and worked me over pretty hard.   

We were talking about how some of her clients will get sick immediately following and up to a few days after a deep massage.  How all the toxins have now been released and are circulating in the system and need flushing.   Drink LOTS of WATER.   Well I have been.  

I don’t usually get ill following a massage - sleepy sometimes, but not ill.     Within an hour after her departure I felt like a kid home from school curled up on the couch with body aches.   Head hurt, body hurt, mind was numb.  Stayed that way for an hour or two, maybe it was four.  Drank LOTS of Water!  Ate good healthy food.   Drank lots of water.   Then at 10:30 when I think I am ready for bed I realize that I am wide awake and don’t feel ill any more.    In fact,  I have excess energy!      It has past.   The malaise is gone! I want to DO something.   Well I actually did something - a little rowing.   As a bonus I passed my 3/4 mark 150,000m to boot!   WOW!

 Muscle tired, sleepy tired now.   Ready for a great night’s sleep.

New learnings:
1) That some massages will actually make you feel worse and then feel better
2) ALWAYS,  ALWAYS, ALWAYS drink LOTS of water  (I don’t know where it all went but my body certainly needed it- craved it)
3) Why not exercise at midnight when you are full of energy - toss and turn in bed, or be productive; take a nice shower and slide into bed happy and physically exhausted - out like a light.
4) This seasonal dilemma is more complicated than I thought - or less and I have change my regular complicated thinking to see it as simple.  Light, exercise, outdoors, eat right, socialize.

Today marks the first goal of the Concept 2 Holiday Rowing Challenge Achieved!  YAY!  100,000meters between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. 

2005 Holiday Challenge Goal#1 100,000m Achieved Day 16-14 days remain
2005 Holiday Challenge Goal#2 105,189/200,000 Day 16- 14 days remain  94,811 meters togo!

To track my progress check out my rowing blog http://matthewsrowingchallenge.blogspot.com/

Well its that time of year again. Didn’t do so well on the MillionK year. I think it was because I would rather be outside in the spring and summer and fall than on an erg. So for the Winter lets see how much I can do. I am going after the 200K challenge this year. 200k between Thanksgiving 11/24 and Xmas Eve 12/24 30 days 200k.

You can track my progress at  http://matthewsrowingchallenge.blogspot.com/

My friend Claudette Lajam, MD sent me a link to this cute and fun blog site. What is your seduction style? Her blog can be seen at "He’s Dead Jim" in the links section.

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.