Mon 21 Aug 2006
What if conflicts in the world, personal, and work life all source from the same root cause? What if we systematically blind ourselves to that cause? And what if, as a result, we are unwittingly perpetuating the very problems that we believe we are trying to solve?
I have been a raving fan of the Arbinger Institute‘s work going on three three years now since I was shaken to the core by the work as I experienced my family, my brother in particular in a whole new light. A light I could no longer ignor. My work with the Arbinger material has been transformational for me, my clients, and their companies. So much so that Leadership & Self Deception (L&SD) became required reading for all of my clients.
This has created a slight dilemma since not all of my clients are business people. While those that are don’t always want to read â€œanotherâ€ business book. Heck, even I put off reading the thing for nearly a year because I was a â€œleadershipâ€ coach, what did I need to learn about â€œleadershipâ€? The short answer â€“ EVERYTHING, anew.
So I was overjoyed when I learned that they released a new book last month. The Anatomy of Peace is a book that I can recommend to anyone. The language is different, the intended audience is different, but the heart of the matter is still solid as ever. This is a book for everyone & business people too. It takes the work much deeper than L&SD and applies it to life circumstances from family relationships to international conflicts. It is all based on true events and a real executive and the experiences at the Anasazi Foundation Arbinger’s partner in intervention.
The Anatomy of Peace is a prequel to Leadership & Self Deception. It is the story of Lou Herbert, the founder of Zagrum (the company in L&SD) and his journey to Camp Moriah (Anasazi) where he & his wife have taken their troubled son for an outdoors survival program to straighten him out and attend a two day seminar for the parents. We get to find out about what Lou’s transformation process was that began the journey of L&SD. The camp is lead by two unlikely leaders: Yusuf-al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each of whom lost their fathers at the hands of the other’s ethnic cousins. The Anatomy of Peace is about how they came together and now work at bringing peace to children and parents who are at war with each other.
This is a powerful book. In many respects it is like being a fly on the wall during part of an Arbinger program. Fans of L&SD will not be disappointed as there is a great deal of new material here. All the juicy stuff they’ve been learning since L&SD was released has been added to the mix. I love the new terminology of the heart at peace & the heart at war. This really puts a firm grip on the issue and takes it out of the logical mind. We can all relate to it. â€œIn the boxâ€ and â€œout of the boxâ€ never really worked for me, it seems sterile. This wording touches my soul. The box analogy hasn’t been jettisoned though. It still has a place, especially when mapping out collusion and diagramming the process. They introduce a startling and powerful concept of boxes that we carry with us and how we all in one degree or another carry one or more of these: the I am better than box, the I must to be seen as box, the I am worse than box, and the I deserve box. I think I have visited all four of these in the past four years. How about you? This work applies to all of us. Who are you in relationship with your client? The world? Your spouse?
Matthew Rochte â€“ Seasoned Coaches Coach, Executive Coach, & Coaching Pundit.
Matthew is about helping people be GREAT! To help is coach clients be great
they dive deep to explore the human functioning model, perceptions, business
practices, Arbinger work, SQ Spiritual Intelligence, & Coaching From Within.
He helps his business clients be great by applying the above and working
with their Spiritual Capital & relationships so they can be great.
Matthew is a 15year coaching veteran, serves on the ICF Ethics &
Standards Committee & is MCA’s 2005 Past President
Â© Copyright 2006 Matthew Rochte, used with permission