Matthew’s Blog

Said in the voice of the fish named Bubbles in Finding Nemo! My favorite character in Finding Nemo is the fish who has gone tank crazy and is ecstatic every time bubbles are released. BUBBBLES

With that in mind on this terribly beautiful winter day. 30 degrees foot blanket of fresh snow, clear brilliant blue skies. If you are trapped inside today for work take a break with some bubbles at perpetual virtual bubble wrap
If you have a Treo or a Palm with OS3.1+ you can download a free little app that lets you pop bubbles any time called Bombel.

This came in my email this morning.  I don’t know the author, however if I find out I will credit them.  This is just great and soo true.

Sincerely,

Flowing Crackerjack Armstrong

(a.k.a Matthew – as I can’t pull off Pegleg Lemon Johnson – even if I had a pegleg, see below)

=============================SINGING THEBLUES=======
If you are new to Blues music, or like it but never really understood the whys and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:

1. Most Blues begin with: “Woke up this morning….”

2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, “I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.”

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes – sort of: “Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound.”

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch…ain’t no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don’t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state- sponsored motor pools ain’t even in the running. Walkin’ plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.

6. Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, “adulthood” means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don’t get no rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is.. Breaking your leg ’cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg ’cause a alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can’t have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

11. Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom’s
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

12. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, ‘less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.

13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you’re older than dirt
b. you’re blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can’t be satisfied
No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

14. Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.

15. If you ask for water and your darlin’ gives you gasoline, it’s the Blues.

Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast

16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can’t have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

17. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

18. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

19. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can’t sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

20. Blues Name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Mute, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, Clinton, etc.)
For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Pegleg Lemon Johnson or Lame Kiwi Clinton, etc. (Well, maybe not “Kiwi.”)

21. I don’t care how tragic your life is: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry!

FYI: I get no kickback from this, I’m just excited.

I have been eyeing the Treo650 since they came out a little over a year ago.  I didn’t have a reason to switch, as I’ve had my trusty Samsung I300 for nearly 6 yrs with hardly a glitch.  However over the past year my computing needs have upgraded my computer, connections, and software.  Now my 6yr old palmphone no longer syncs reliably with ACT.  So.  . . I bit the bullet and found a deal.

I purchased my Treo650 through Sprint PCS Business for $99 (eventually, I’ve got a rebate and service credit to process first).
If you are interested in the offer you’ll need a business id (fed tax id usually) and a good credit rating.  Goto
http://www.sprint.com/business/products/phones/650_allPcsPhones.jsp or http://snipurl.com/njkn

Lots of places on the net talk about the standard features.  However here are some features they don’t talk about that I have recently discovered

• You have to buy a PCS Vision Package (you do not however have to buy the whole shebang with photoemail, etc.) For just $10 you have a moderately high speed internet connection from your phone which is unlimited (no minutes used).  This is actually a great deal (sure beats the $40 pricetag they originally had on this)
• With fair and flexible plan and this vision plan I am actually reducing my cellphone bill by nearly $20/mth (pays for the phone in 5 months)
• when you click on a url in you can surf straight to that site
• when you click on a phone number on a website your phone can dial the number for you.
• There is gobs of freeware and shareware out there for the Palm Treo one of the coolest that I have found so far taps into googlemaps called KMaps www.where.com
• email (you can leave your mail on the server if you wish to just check for a message)
• I can now take Credit Cards again on my palmphone with www.merchantanywhere.com (low cost provider, however they are no longer taking coaches as vendors – say you are a consultant) (My old phone and software were tied to the discontinued palmnet).

Then you have all the other fun features like
camera, mp3 player (with SD card), fun ringtones, cool factor, my uptodate database at my fingertips, my calendar up to date and current.

Its FUN!!

Hope this was more informative than rambling.