Matthew’s Blog

“We can only evolve as much as the community we associate with.”

Choose your community!

Here are the communities I have seen walking around the lake. (the timing may be a little off but this is what I have seen from the lighter half of the year Mar21st-Sept21st.

pre-5:30am (PreDawners) Solo but not alone, peace seekers, happy. Usually walking sometimes running with a dog. Any season, any weather.

5:30-7:00am (Dawners) Happy, full of joy and opportunity with a zest to be alive. Joggers, walkers, friends, chatting, easy, solid walkers for exercise. Willing to risk the cold just to be in the beauty of nature. People make eye contact and say “Good Morning.” Few, if any have earbuds pumping music into their ears. They are listening to nature wake up. They are engaged in life. They are glad to see you.

6:30am - Solo runners start to appear.
6:45am - the attitude shift starts to occur.

7:00-7:30am (Should-ers) Schedules, workouts, and time is of the essence. No time for niceties. Disconnected - plugged in- mediated nature/exercise experience. Have to do this! Faster. Faster. The runners are in packs now. No “good mornings” No eye contact - offended if you do connect. If you are luck you might get a “hello” in response.

7:30-8:30am (Complainers) When the pairs of walkers start to talk loudly about work, money, relationships, business politics, national politics. Insular. No eye contact. No response to greetings.

8:00-9:00 (Casual-ers) Pairs taking strolls around the lake, good friends but tend to themselves unless you engage them in conversation because they are talking loud enough to be overheard. They don’t have be at work until 10 and/or they are solopreneurs. Fre

9:00- 11:30 (kidtime) Mothers and the occasional dad. dogs. kids are often in a bob and the parent is running. These are intensely focused but aware of their environment. Maximize the opportunity. Trios start to appear (men, women, mothers, business people)

11:30-1:30 (Noontimers) Exercise, relief to be out of the office. Don’t have much time. Mix of headphones and conversations usually about work. Lunchers by the shore and on the benches and sometimes walking.

2:00-4:00pm (kidtime)

4:00-5:30pm (Afternooners) Exercise, skaters, youth, mixed activities, socializing within groups. Cordial and offer “good afternoons”

5:15pm - the attitude starts to shift.

5:30-7:00pm (Me-ers) Can’t you see I’m working out! Style is important - what you are wearing says how important you are. You are here to work out and to be seen and if you really want to be seen you go jog around Lake Calhoun. If you are talking on the phone - you are important. Cellphones are with earbuds and a mic on the cord or the new bluetooth headsets. Stray conversations in the wind. There is work to be done. Headphones are par for the course if you are not talking on the phone. Runners come in packs usually in community team jerseys often talking about work or jibing eachother. No smiling unless you are joking with friends. No greetings unless you are picking up someone.

7:00-9:00pm (EveningStroller) More often in the summer than other seasons. Post dinner walks. Slower, casual, cordial, friendly. Good Evening.

It is just goes to show that thought creates and is reality. While I was typing these descriptions I felt my mood shift. I became suspicious of people. I became insular and then open then insular then open. I am now in a place of joy and gratitude. Did you have a similar exerience reading about them?

My heart soars!
The Spring has come!
The sun rises before 6:00am.
The birds are a chirping.
Robins, Finches, geese
Smiling faces
Good Morning.

I just returned from Guatemala where I spent 10 days. My key goal was to unplug. No TV, No Internet, No radio, No telephone, no technology. Not that Guatemala is primitive, it has all those things, but it also has a latin, relational culture. And so you don’t think I was lying on a beach all day - It wasn’t all relaxing, warm, and fruity.

This was a return trip for me. I spent two months in Guatemala during my sabbatical in 2001. Guatemala on that trip radically changed who I was in the world. I went from a man living in the future trying to control everyone and everything in my environment to a man who lives in the present. A man who sees whatever he is doing right now as the most important thing. PERIOD. Guatemala taught me to let go of expectations. Expectations are severe attachments and are crippling if not met. I discovered through Latin American culture that trying to plan and make things happen was fruitless and frustrating. When I lifted my eyes and looked around I discovered that life was happening all around me and I was the only one not enjoying it, I woke up.

Well, a similar thing happened this trip. Apparently I have slipped back into old habits as of late and keep getting anxious over not so important things. It took me nearly four days to reach my re-epiphany. I had a schedule to keep and places I wanted to go! Well, the “launcha” to Monterrico on the Pacific coast was the first awakening, where I waited with a “gang” of locals for the 90min late (according to the schedule) boat. When I asked they all laughed at me. When I did get to the other side of the river, I was hurried onto a bus, which sped off only to stop 100meters down the road and have the driver get out with his son who took the front seat cushion and proceed to take an unannounced hour siesta at 11am. This was the first of four chicken busses that day for me.

By bus three it finally dawned on me – once again, I was the only one on the bus who was unhappy and it was simply because I had an expectation, a plan. So - I let go of the plan and enjoyed the rest of the trip. A little state of mind trick.

I recall seeing several backpackers on the journey and seeing their pain and frustration at times as they suffered from the same delusions of control that I had.. From my re-epiphany forward I was a happy camper no matter what happened, including sitting on toilets without seats, schedule deletions, chickenbuses packed 8 to a row, contracting something similar to or actually contracting Cholera. So we had no water, the city turned it off - That’s ok, there is water at 2am for a shower. Que sera sera.

I am much more at peace now. I feel that I have reclaimed my epiphany that so changed my life four years ago. What epiphany do you need to re-experience? How might it impact your life? How will what you know now about life and coaching effect your perspective on that epiphany? What do you need to change today to regain clarity in your life? How balance is your life now – really? Do you need a coach?