Matthew’s Blog

How cool! My mom sent me a link to this site. A charming display of one of natures more obscure and beautiful creations, the birth of a hummingbird. There are five pages in all so make sure to click on the (next page) at the bottom.
Humming Bird Nest

I hired a personal trainer this month. He is not my first and probably not my last. It has been a revealing experience on many levels. My first trainer back in 1992 changed the way I interacted with myself and the world. Geno Johnson was not only my first personal trainer but also my first coach. He refused to work with me unless I was willing to change the way I think, change the way I interact with people, and change the way I ate. I did and it changed my life! Thank you Geno. My second was Al McShepard in Milwaukee. He introduced me to inversion boots, stretching – really stretching before each workout, stop eating after 8:00pm and together we created this nifty way of monitoring weight routine progress in a way that propelled my ability and confidence at the same time giving me complete control over what I was doing with my body.

Now I have hired a trainer at the Minneapolis Athletic Club. This has been an entirely different experience. One with measurements, structure, and now heart rate monitors. I think I have made significant progress around goals and the heart rate monitor has helped this significantly, much to my surprise. This trainer has been working the science of the weight training, whereas the previous two have been the philosophy of human interaction and thinking. I don’t have the connection that I created with my previous two trainers yet, though I suspect this relationship will be one I remember.

What I find missing from this relationship is the discovery period of establishing relationship and camaraderie that I find with coaching and my previous two trainers. This is really important to any kind of co-learning. I have entered into this relationship based on trust – of others in this trainer and the vibe I pick up off of him. It is interesting as I type this, the others had to earn my trust, hence the extensive relationship building. With this trainer, I started with trust and I am finding that one level I am moving forward, on the other I feel like I have abdicated my responsibility.

This is where the heartrate monitor comes into play. I don’t use it during our sessions. Instead I use it during my daily aerobic activities. And WOW what a surprise – I actually like it. I’ve thought I have been a good judge on my body’s condition at certain exertion levels. Well, I think they more correlate to what my trainer is describing as anaerobic thresh-hold after my aerobic zone. We are far more effective at burning energy in this aerobic zone than anaerobic. When I used to row on my erg I would regularly burn out because as I have now found out I leapt straight into the anaerobic zone and virtually knotted up after 15 minutes. However if I keep within my aerobic zone I can keep going 20-40 minutes feeling like I’ve had a good workout, but not exhausted and in pain. I almost want to do more – we’ll see about that. With the heartrate monitor I get an extra bonus. I get to see a customized to me fitness and calorie burn count because it is linked to my exact heartrate, exertion, age and weight.

It has been fun this morning walking around the lake in a new way – with the monitor. My pace is a little faster, but more rhythmic than anything else. 2/3 around the lake I have discovered that I’ve burned 734 calories 55%fat – Wahoo! and I’ve got another third to go.

So much for FREE DAY today. Today has become "IN THE NAME OF THE PROFESSION DAY"

It has been nonstop today working on, answering calls, bridging people, expanding the community, and lessons coincidental activity.

I had several instances this day where I was super frustrated about some bureaucratic thing or another and in each case I discovered that I was out of relationship either with who I was working with or with what I was working on. I had a steamy email response all prepared for what I thought (perceived~a dangerous place to play) was a brush off answer to my serious question. I was distracted with a phone call. When I returned to the email a new message had arrived from a third party releasing my steam vent into harmless air. The new message apologized for a mistake on their part that effected everyone involved in my first email that caused the snaffu in the first place. My original email was never sent. Apparently my better self was looking after me and knocking on those responsible to wake up.

A message came across one of the list serves about the Fast Company blog (see below) to which so many people reacted rather than respond. I could have reacted, but then I connected to the relationships involved and the change that needed to occur, because change is in relationship too. So I wrote the below response to the original statement and the followups.

It is so much better when you can see the relationship and take responsibility for your own part of it. It is far easier to respond to the issue at hand.

This is in response to Ryan Underwood’s comments on the Fast Company Blog about looking for "horrible" coaching stories. About a dozen people responded, mostly feeling attacked. I decided on a different approach, and educational approach.

Ryan,

Interesting discussion here. There are those offended, those who feel attacked, and those who want to further the discussion. I think I would fall into the last category.

I have been coaching for a dozen years or so and in private practice for about three years. I serve on the Ethics and Standards Committee of the International Coach Federation and I am the incoming president of the Minnesota Coaches Association. The industry is still young and finding its way. There have been some great success and some disturbing trends. We are on path of self regulation with two organizations the ICF (International Coach Federation) and IAC(International Association of Coaches) leading the charge.

It is generally felt by the coaching community that the fly-by-night coaching & fly-by-night coach certification programs are dangerous to the profession and community and we are concerned by their proliferation.

The ICF and IAC establish high credibility standards both in member coaches and the institutions that instruct their coaches. Both organization websites have links to accredited coaching programs that usually involve 1-2 years of training. Both organizations have a Code of Ethics and Standards that their coaches must abide by to retain membership, accreditation, and certification. (Codes:ICF IAC) Both have stringent certification processes. The ICF Ethics Committee has a yearly review of the code to strengthen the coaching industry and has a coach and has the ability to revoke credentials. Our goal however is to educate rather than punish such an offender and thereby educate the community. It is a process that works.

Onto your questions

You have a preponderance of positive comments about coaches by coaches. That is understandable since any coach worth their salt has been coached and/or is being coached – just like any other service industry, we use our own kind to get better. A coach is more likely to have better understanding and a relationship with the coaching process and is willing to share it with a reporter than a client (see early issues of privacy).

If you find a bad coach – FIRE THEM! And tell them why so they can learn. Same holds true for coaches – Coaches, if you find a bad client FIRE THEM and tell them why so they can learn and get the help or resources they need.

Are their bad coaches – Yes! Have I hired any – Yes! Did I do my due diligence before I hired them – No!. Was I ready for that coaches style – Perhaps Not. Does that make them bad coaches – Perhaps, as they did not let me know I might not be a good client for them. Does that make me a bad client – ABSOLUTELY, sometimes

(Side note with respect the TV show – there have been members of the house "clients" who have been asked to leave as they were not ready to take on the responsibility of changing their own lives. That is what is at the core of all coaching, especially life coaching – Taking responsibiltity for your life)

One of the things I emphasize with all perspective clients is to interview and get sample of coaching from at least three different coaches before choosing one or me. The magic of coaching is not in the coach or the client or in what is said. The magic lies in the relationship between the client and the coach. Who do you want to be in relationship with? Who do you want to grow with?

If you want a successful coaching relationship Find a coach -
a) That you feel comfortable with
b) That you feel wants to be in relationship with you (not needs to be)
c) That really gets you to think and reflect in new directions
d) That stretches the heck out of you.
e) That has a track record or credentials that mean something to you (testimonials, training, certification, experience, whatever matters to you)
f) That you can say NO to and that can say NO to you.
g) That has a coach of their own and/or has been coached recently – nothing like walking the talk.

Lastly I would extend the same offer of James – Take on a coach yourself to work on your life for 3-6 months and blog on it if you like. Give me a call and see if we would make a good match if not, I can suggest a few more.

Matthew Rochte
Working Intentionally