Those who recall my move to Minneapolis recall that it came to me in a calling. 2002 was a powerful year for me. I reached a state of clarity and peace that I had never truly experienced before. Many would call this being in the "flow" Wayne Dyer in his new book Power of Intention would call it the field of intention.

When in the field you listen and the world speaks to you and you know it is true.

This is a state of peace.

A place of mindfulness and clarity. Perhaps even a state of inner grace.

I fell of the wagon, the intention or BEing wagon.

I’M BACK Now! REALLY!
Bigger, stronger, faster, clearer, and even more grounded than before.

I’m back to listening after falling off the intention wagon September 15 2002. I’ve finally become clear on when it happened and what transpired since. One of life’s messages to let me know that I had a lot more to learn. And I did. It has been and interesting 18 months (a year of confusion, followed by an amazing six months of incredible expansion, learning, grounding and clarity).

This next series of blog entries I will endeavor to share with you my discoveries and where they are taking me, now that I am back LivingIntentionally and WorkingIntentionally and truly understand what Intentionally means!

So, In the beginning . . .
There was Peace | BEing | Intentionality | Present

Then one day, Sept 15th 2002, to be specific, I participated in the North Shore Inline Skating Marathon. I’ve been skating since 1990 and can do it virtually blindfolded. I had been training for two months and had done two 26 mile practice runs in the weeks prior. I was ready. I was pumped. I was in the flow~~~~~ BEing present, very relaxed, very calm, very peaceful.

RACE DAY My dear friend Dr. Claudette Lajam of the Mayo Clinic and I drove up early (after only 4hrs of sleep, zero on her part). There were 2500+ skaters gathered here. AMAZING. I had never been to such a thing. People in supergirl outfits, teams, gorilla suits, and just run of the mill skaters, and the pros of course. We get up to the starting point, which is just mobbed with people, I would say nearly a third of the participants. Get our skates on and move our way to the front for our wave of skaters. Well since we were not "pros" we were midway in the release times.

When we got up to the line we discovered that all hell had broken loose with the control of release of the waves. It was pretty much whoever was lined up went. So instead of 100 skaters - 250 skaters launched at the same time.

The road was horrible - potholes, rough old asphalt with tar striping. Anyone who has skated knows these can be some of the worst imaginable conditions for skating. And we were starting the race on this surface.

The field of intention, my BEing, my lifeforce - told me to be patient and focus on skating and that it would be ok.

Well this is when I turned off my listening. I instead chose to listen to my fears. Not of competition mind you, but rather a older, deeper fear: Claustrophobia and fear of mobs. And we’re off!

I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
I WILL GET OUT IN FRONT.
I MUST GET OUT OF THIS PACK.
JUST ONE MORE SKATER TO GO.

My lifeforce meanwhile was still sending me message of help "relax, don’t try to pass there will be an opening soon."
My EGO, who was running on fear, only picked up the "there will be an opening" piece and the second there was a visible space,

I charged. . .

Into

a tar stripe!

I literally went airborn. Claudette saw me go above the crowd (by this point I was so wrapped up in my internal conversation I had even forgotten that she was with me - I was so focused on vanquishing the fear)

I was so full of myself that I got up brushed my knees off and darted for the side for fear of getting trampled. I looked back and saw an ambulance and looked forward and guessed it would be a few miles before more help was available so I glided back to the ambulance - just to be sure. The only thought running through my head was "at least I don’t have to be in that pack anymore"

I passed out while sitting on the back of the ambulance while I fished around my mouth for loose teeth - found one! OUT!

I ended up with four crushed teeth, a snapped finger, seriously scraped arm and leg, and a 1/2 inch dent in my helmet. The EMT said that the helmet saved my life. That kind of impact would cracked my skull open for sure.

Thus began nearly 8 months of physical recovery work. And a serious doubt in who I was and what I was doing. My pain, my fear, my confusion shut down the source, my lifeforce speaking to me. I stopped listening. I was present still but not listening anymore.

It was still present and has been all along, just I wasn’t listening - like most of us.